That did not end well
by Crymson Onyx
Summary: She was in charge of the Aperture Science Red Phone Failsafe Program. In fact, until the project was finished, it was to be her only job. Ironically, she had a history of being mute, and Aperture Science had a history of not thinking things through very well. One-shot.


_My brain is so fried, honestly. Ugh. But I got a little inspiration for this one-shot (It was about time) after reading the summary of _another _one-shot by an author named did-you-reboot. Seriously, I never really advertise other fanfics because I don't want to be annoying, but this author is seriously amazing with her/his Portal fanfics. Seriously, I had the page up on my phone so I could read it anywhere. Anywho, Chell having the job of the red phone could make sense, although I didn't really see anyone near it in the comic besides Doug, but obviously he escaped. So, yeah, I'll let ya get on with reading this longer-than-it-was-meant-to-be-one-shot._

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><p>Chell never talked inside Aperture Science. She didn't exactly know why; maybe it was because most of the scientists were dull and could never hold a conversation that didn't involve science, the project they were working on, coffee, or even cake, which they seemed to enjoy a little too much.<p>

She only had one job there, inside one of the most secretive projects Aperture Science had, enough that her own last name was redacted in the files, enough that she didn't fully understand what it was about. It was the Genetic Lifeform and Disc Operating System, a curious project.

All she knew was that it was to, as they put it, assign a new CEO to the company, something they hadn't had in little over fifteen years. But after the Genetic Lifeform and Disc Operating System – or GLaDOS as Chell had heard whispered around the laboratories – was finished, it would send Aperture Science into a whole new age.

Chell understood all that; she was good at keeping secrets. But what she didn't understand, and figured she never would, was why she, the all-but-mute-not-even-full-time-employee, was assigned to the Aperture Science Red Phone Failsafe Program. She'd rather be physically productive then waste her time with words, something people usually ignored anyway. And all she had to do was pick up the phone, dial a few numbers, and say "failsafe." Simple, they said. Took only a few seconds, they said. The numbers were even painted red on the dial, so all she really had to do was memorize the order of numbers and the failsafe word failsafe. But there were others – even a moron could do it – for something so trivial and yet so important. She was insulted, excited, and annoyed at the same time.

She stared at the phone, wondering if anyone ever used it for anything else. If it _could_ be used for anything else.

Someone cleared their throat behind her. She turned around.

"Are you ready, Miss Chell?" A scientist asked, smiling.

She gave him a half smile back, nodding. His name was Doug, and he was the only person in the entire stupid building that cared enough to actually call her by name.

"Alright then, we just need to make a few adjustments to the calibration and then Richard over there will activate her-"

"Hey Doug," another scientist walked over, carrying a clipboard. "You need to stay over there behind the door when we activate GLaDOS. Your part is finished, we'll take it from here," The man said, pointing behind them, and then nodded to Chell. "And you, intern, you have a new job."

Chell bit her lip as Doug gave her a shrug and walked away; she wasn't an intern – not really, anyway – she was paid minimum wage every hour, so she was an intern/employee/something or other. She also wasn't a Test Subject, even though her name was listed in the files somewhere, an issue she had yet to be updated from the guy who managed Test Subjects. But she cocked her head to the side when she registered the last part of his words.

"New job?" She half muttered.

"Yeah, we need you downstairs in the ByDtWD area," he said impatiently.

"Care to explain?" She asked, raising an eyebrow. After all, Aperture Scientists loved every change they could get at using ridiculously long names for things.

The scientist rolled his eyes, as if he had _so _much better things to do. "Bring your Daughter to Work Day. I guess some of the guys down there are having trouble controlling the kids. We need you to help 'em."

Chell glanced at the red phone. "But this?"

The scientist waved away her question. "We're fine. We got all the cores attached, nothing'll go wrong now." He checked something off on his clipboard and then started scribbling things down.

"But just in case, I need to be here," she said, frowning. The Red Phone was still her priority, degrading or not.

The scientist looked up as if remembering she was there. "No, you don't."

"The kids can wait a few minutes," she said, her throat dry from overuse.

"I will not tell you again, intern. Get down to the Bring your Daughter to Work Day now or I'll have your hours docked."

Chell opened her mouth, but then closed it again, managing to bite back a retort. She barely nodded before spinning on her heel and stalking out the door, patting Doug on the shoulder before leaving the area. He gave her a confused look, but she replied with a sigh and jabbed her finger at the scientist who was walking back towards GLaDOS. Doug gave her a sympathetic look, but kept silent.

She walked through mostly empty halls, her heels click-clacking on the polished floors, wondering how Cleanup managed to keep the huge place spotless. She was fairly certain she remembered where the ByDtWK was being held, and almost let out a triumphant laugh when she started to hear the voices of young girls coming from a room temporarily converted from a storage room. She tugged on her earring in nervousness, wondering what would happen with GLaDOS.

"I assume you're here to help out?" A woman approached Chell, who was just standing in the doorway. She nodded, looking around at all the girls running around.

"Great, we really need help," the woman replied as she turned around.

Chell tried not to scoff at the woman as she followed her into the room, knowing it wasn't her fault she was down there. Immediately, a few of the girls ran up to the girl, bombarding her with questions about devices powered by potatoes.

"Look at my volcano!" Another girl smiled proudly, pointing at a sad-looking project, but Chell smiled anyway. The little girl, whose name was Beth, jumped up and down with excitement.

"You should make one!" She squealed.

Chell laughed, and decided it would help pass the time. So she grabbed a potato and poured some chemicals on it, the last bit of an experimental growth formula in a vial she had on her from earlier that week when she, out of pure boredom, used it on an empty turret due for maintenance to see what affect it would have. The turret only sparked a little and, instead of trying to fire bullets at her, started spewing strange things like telling her not to make lemonade and something about some guy named Prometheus and the gods, and birds…

She felt sort of bad so she put the thing in a random room, hoping no one would find it and put it on the Turret Redemption Line.

But now, staring at the potato, she hoped the formula would have different affects on something organic. But when she wrote down the hypothesis and theory and the rest on the big cardboard diorama, her usually neat and tidy handwriting was messy and uneven, looking to be the work of a ten year old. She sighed, not being able to shake the menacing feeling she had.

"Um, what did you do?" Beth came up behind her. "It looks like an ordinary potato."

Chell smiled at the girl. "Well, if my theory is correct, the potato should grow larger than it normally would."

Beth nodded her head. "Okay, I hope it does grow big by the next time I see it!"

"Me too," Chell said.

Beth was just about to speak until the woman from before clapped her hands loudly in the middle of the room. "Alright, girls, gather around for snack time!"

All the girls cheered and ran to the table next to the woman, which was stacked with gram crackers and apple juice.

Chell was about to walk over next to Beth when suddenly the lights flickered and then dimmed. A flat, but all too familiar voice, poured from the speakers in the room.

_Hello, and welcome to Aperture Science Computer Aided Enrichment Center._

"Who's that?" One of the scientists asked, looking around for answers.

_Due to unforeseen circumstances, Aperture Science will now be decontaminated of all unauthorized objects. Please note that an inability to breathe during decontamination is normal, and panicking is against protocol. Everyone please assume the Safety Escort Submission Position._

Chell's blood ran cold; she had heard that voice only twice before. The first time was when she was a young girl, meeting the former assistant of the former CEO, and the second when she was first assigned the Aperture Science Red Phone Failsafe Program, when the voice came out of the speakers in the laboratory, an angry violent voice. It seemed passive enough now, but judging by the green smoke pouring out of every available vent and the screams Chell could hear from the speakers and inside the room, everyone had only minutes to get out of the building.

_Aperture Science Computer Aided Enrichment Center thanks you for your contribution to science, but regrettably, everyone's services are no longer needed. Goodbye._

Everyone bolted from the room, the parent scientists grabbing their children, and Chell ran in the opposite direction, towards the antechamber. If only she could reach the red phone, and if only whoever operated the activation and deactivation was still alive, she could successfully shut down GLaDOS. She counted every second she ran through the halls, throwing away her heels at one point for more speed, every breath harder to draw. She dared to let in a glimmer of hope when she saw the still-open doors of the antechamber entrance, tripping on the way in and barely missing hitting her head on the table. She barely glanced at the bodies along the floor inside, because that would only remind her of her own collapsing lungs, but a thought raced through her mind of Doug, and a bit of hope that he was fine.

She grabbed the phone receiver and slammed the dials, but no sound came from it. She looked down; the cord had been cut.

_What are you doing? Do you think you are helping? As long as that communication device is still intact, science cannot continue. As long as you are here, science cannot continue. _

The thing towered over Chell, her bright yellow optic glaring down at her. Chell opened her mouth and tried to speak, but no sound came. Her throat restricted, her vocal cords tightened, and her voice shut down. Another thought came to her head: at the moment, she really was mute.

Chell stared at GLaDOS, visibly shaking but still glaring defiantly at the AI.

I failed, she thought as the neurotoxin overwhelmed her, her brain shutting down as much as her voice as Chell collapsed on the ground. She saw the murderous AI drag over the clipboard from the scientist from earlier using a giant construction claw, and she caught a glimpse before she lost consciousness of what he had been scribbling.

A black forest, cherry rimmed, candle topped cake.

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><p><em>i know putting "reasons" why things are can be kinda annoying if not done right, but I hope I did okay. By the end, I was just winging it. Why must I always write these things at midnight. <em>

_Yeah, I thought it might be nice to take a break from my other fic, Under the Sun and Sea (Yay advertising!) by writing and posting something totally different. Actually, this one-shot might have a future in a full story eventually. Meh. If I'm not too lazy. So I should probably get the next chapter of my fic going. I hope it's not one of those stories that kinda spirals the further it goes. _

_But on that depressing note, happy writing!_


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